So I've been on a life mission for the past week- but of course as soon as I come back into the world, I get two restricted calls in a row. Some people's idiot children- I mean if I don't pick up the first time, then you call me again, then what do you expect to happen?
Roll my eyes moment.
Anyway, I went on a Tumblr frenzy by day and spiritual awakening by night, which was more like staying up until 2 talking to myself while my mom hogged all the covers (Duly note without cruel laughter that I like to sleep in my mom's bed when I can't sleep).
So may I simply say, some specifically to people, others as life lessons or virtues to world. If you already know them, you're lucky because my brain has been abusing me trying to figure out the details- however my I explain my learning and understanding? By the way, that huge long blog post that was like an epiphany- that's in editing because I wrote that before all this madness, so if I said something that raised eyebrows, sorry but I feel like I've been brain dead this past week. So anything I said in that you should probably ignore. Anyway MY life lessons
*Complaining gets you no where, it just adds on to the problem. Try confronting it while it's still small.
*Don't play the "My life's worse than yours" game with people- teens especially- over your problems. To that person, their problems are their own, and that's what they know to be the worst. There are definitely worse scenarios out there but what I've had happen to me is be yelled at because I was upset about m own issues. Not only did I feel really bad because I felt like I was being inconsiderate of that person, but I also felt like they didn't care how I was struggling. I know things could be worse, but my problems are mine.
*Don't hide in fear of what people think. If you want to gossip about my outfits and my opinions behind my back, go ahead, because you're wasting your time by caring. Not to be sassy what so ever, but really? Did you ever consider what I think? (I'm relating most of this to my peers. This is where I shall note- I guess I've done things to bother people, and I suppose I could be sorry for that, but if you think treating a person the way you do is humane, I highly suggest you ask yourself at least one of these questions/statements: 1. She's not me, she doesn't have the same interests as I do so I guess to her, that's cool. 2. Are these rumors true?/Maybe I should go ask her about... 3. I know her name, not her story. 4. Do I really know this person?
I mean I'm still working on this- but think before you act.
I guess that leads to:
*Try to get to know a person before you judge them, you might get a little insight to why they're that way.
*Be honest always- don't lie because it sounds better or will keep you out of trouble. A friendship/relationship shouldn't be based off lies anyway.
*I said in that long post I mentioned earlier that I felt like I was never myself, just a clone of everyone I met. That's not true I realized. I'm always myself but I've come to notice that I have difficulty 1. knowing what I like, because I have diverse interests that may conflict with one another. 2. Stating my morals/opinions because I try to sum up all my knowledge about that one topic into one statement, and again, some of it might conflict with what I'm trying to say. 3. This is kind of... I don't know, compared to the rest of these reasons but I can't stick to one "style" or whatever when it comes to how I dress because I want to try different things.
*Don't change for your friends or their opinions. If they're really your friends, they won't care, and if they do care, they're not. It's that simple.
Of course there will be and have been people that have asked me, "Why are you wearing that?"
I used to shrug and and shyly say, "Just cuz." But now I'm going to say "Because I like it. Why do you care enough to come over and ask?"
*I've probably said this three times in this post alone but everyone has their own opinion. Don't shoot them down because they're not you.
That's not all of it but it's late and I can't remember much right now.
And I was pretty happy bout this, so even though I don't have to share this, I will; I kind of got a foundation to my "religion" or "spirituality" or "how I think the world works." I've always seen things in energies and different deities for everything but now I've got a general, I don't know, layout, I guess. Like the different kinds of energies- positive, negative, people, objects, etc. etc- and different elements that fit with the gods and goddesses (I think) contribute to the world that surrounds me. I'll also mention that I mostly think in goddesses, and I think that's because I am a girl, woman, female, so I have more of an understanding to them as opposed to males which makes it easier for me. I don't know why I'm telling you all this over the Internet but I think it's because I'm finally getting a little bit of a grip on how my mind works.
I should probably write all this down...
Anyway, in due note:
My sister is cutting her gorgeous red hair up to her chin Thursday (before my softball game and the Harry Potter midnight premiere. This blog will be seriously spammed with Harry Potter, you've been warned) and I don't know why but I'm pretty excited at the idea of helping her come out with different ways to wear it. It makes me want to get my hair cut that last time I did that I liked it for a day and then grumbled to myself until... well right now actually.
I cleaned out my closet. It's kind of sad- I don't have any clothes. I have 5 pairs of jeans, two pairs of leggings, three pairs of shorts (one of them being for comfort and exercise), and... I don't know how to put this, so I guess I'll say, if I spread them out in my closet at my mom's, it looks like I take up one side of my closet, but if I took all those shirts/dresses/skirt and put them into my coat closet sized closet at my dad's, it would fit, and I would still have room. I need to go to Forever21 and go maybe 1/16 crazy in there...
Maybe 1/8. I'll make a little "Wish list/School shopping" thing sometime soon.
I'm suddenly obsessed with leggings, shoes, and coloring (coloring shoes, coloring designs, coloring pictures... well actually the shoes part is real but I've been thinking designs and pictures rather than coloring them). I really want to go buy more Keds to draw on and I'm also going to buy
*Tie Dye, and most likely more leggings, to tie dye.
*Tights, especially polka dot ones :)
*Boots specifically THOSE
*New clothes would help too because I'm trying to appeal more to what I like rather than the fear I have of peoples judgements.
I have a few goals I need to accomplish this fast upcoming sophomore year as well.
Anyway- I feel good. I mean, yeah I've been sitting at my mom's for a week just watching Harry Potter and going on Tumblr, but I feel like that little break was needed to calm down a bit.
Glad to be back on Blogger finally, more stuuffffff to come, whatever that is.
P.S You don't have to shave your legs just because everyone else does it to feel pretty. Do things for yourself, not others.
P.S.S Jackets. Jackets sound pretty nice lately too. Seeing how it's been raining non stop.