Thursday, May 26, 2011

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite." Pg. 39- the perks of being a wallflower

My painting! It is finished!

My paint palette

Haley's Mac N' Cheese Pic

Colored Pencils

Slide #1

Slide #2

Slide #3

...really need to paint my toes...

This. Is the image of summer.

Shoes off, feet in the river

Haley's hat of Lost things...

I. want. this. Polaroid.

Random Ass Dandelion up in my tree.....?

Yeah this is how I spent my Wednesday night- blowing my nose due to allergies and reading with my two favorite childhood things. Life is good.

Haley lent me this, and so far, it's pretty marvelous.

All these pictures feel like those infinite moments Charlie talks about... I know how to describe them now.
I guess it's where you feel so happy and full of golden light that you never really want it to end. All these wonderful random moments of bliss that life throws at you when you're feeling down, or like you're life hasn't been exciting lately. Yeah those moments might not be heart-stopping thrillers either, but you know, they make you relish in the concept of words like youth and summer and happiness. I've always loved the word infinite, but it never had so much depth and description until Charlie used to it to talk about how he felt watching Sam in the back of her pick up, her dress kicking up in the wind like something majestic (my imagination tells me it's sky blue... silk and floor length...). The word feels heavy now- like it has so much definition to describe so many moments. With just a single word.
I look forward to more moments like yesterday; eating ice cream by the river with Haley. Taking pictures where rays of the sun reflect in frame while you feel it kissing your skin with a nice warmth. It feels like summer.... it's just mind boggling a little bit- knowing how to describe all those amazing moments I didn't know how to describe until I read it in one perfect little sentence.

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite." Pg. 39

I guess I've been feeling kind of sad lately- despite shopping Saturday, moving Monday, summer Wednesday, and Greece pretty soon. Despite being done with Science, English, Math, and Spanish, and despite my dad getting me What Shall I Wear Today? as a spontaneous present because I got A's/B's on my finals. I keep having battles with myself, and battles with people I'm trying to convince myself I love. I've been having epiphany's I accpet, and epiphany's I've been trying to fight. I keep getting scared for the future, whether it's close or distant. But it's little unplanned moments like that that make me feel like I can breathe and escape. You can't and don't need to plan out every single part to your life out, and then expect it all to go smooth.
It doesn't... but then again, maybe it does. I don't know.
The point is I feel lighter... and heavier.
But mostly
I'm just doing my best
to be

No comments:

Post a Comment